Getting burned hurts...

You know, I never realized how much getting burned by a guy can really affect you. You are way more careful around guys. You don't have much patience for them, and they piss you off real easily. I mean, I've even gotten sick of watching those dating shows (i.e. Blind Date, Elimidate, Next, The Fifth Wheel, etc.). The whole experience has made me not trust guys at all. Always wondering if they have an ulterior motive or if they're just being sincere. Answer...they always have an ulterior motive, whether they know it or not. The trick is, identifying that motive, and not playing into it. Unfortunately, that's easier said than done.

My dad told me to always trust my gut. I have found this advice to be quite helpful. If you have even the slightest inclination that they're just using you, or just that this is a bad situation, don't get into it. I only wish I had known that before. I sure would have saved myself alot of pain, stress, and emotional damage. But, had it not happened now, it would have just happened sooner. I guess it's better to have learned things, then to have not learned them.

So, many times, when a women has been hurt or "burned" by a man, and she says that she wishes it had never happened, I think that deep down she knows that she has learned something. Atleast that's how it is for me. I guess I can't really speak for all women. For me, when something happens, I try to count it as a learning experience, and I try and move on with my life. That's the best you can do. Most learning situations can be painful. Dwelling on them can just make matters worse. Just think, you've learned fromthis situation, which means that you can make sure that it never happens again. For me, that's what I'll do. I'll count it as a learning experience and move on. I'll just be more wary of the men I choose to get emotionally involved with.

You know you're in the city when...

I was thinking I should start a thing, saying..."You know you're in the city, when...". I figured I could start it with...

1. You know you're in the city, when you're walking down the street, and you see a transvestite, in a hot pink tube-top.

This story comes from, when my sister and I were on our way to the Tattered Covered Book Store (which, I might add is a very cool book store) and there was this woman? Or was it a man? I came to find out afterwards that it was a transvestite. Well, anyway, we were both walking down the street and I spied this person at the end of the street. Naturally, I couldn't help but look. Apparently, I was looking to much, and as we walked by, flipped around and asked me, "What Beeyitch?!". I tried to pretend like I didn't look. Erin and I just walked away, without even looking at her. Needless to say, she/he scared me :).

2. You know you're in the city, when there are people outside of KFC, picketing cruelty to chickens.

Seriously though, Erin and I were on our way home, and outside of KFC, there were probably about 10 people or so all holding signs. "Chickens Scalded Alive" "KFC Kills" "Cruelty To Chickens". Those were only a few of them. They were nice signs though. Printed from the computer on poster board. They may have been picketing cruelty to chickens, but I was surprised there weren't people behind them pciketing the killing of trees to make useless signs. :)

Those are just a few of the interesting encouters I've had since I've been here. I'm not even going to mention the funny smell in the elevator, the complicated parking garages with confusing signs, and the amount of time I actually spend getting lost :). Ah, the joys of living in the city :).

You know...

My title, "What goes on in my life...". That fits this perfectly. There are so many things going on in my life right now, that are confusing, emotional, and difficult. Mainly, the fact that I moved to a big city to start a completely new life. And also, what I left behind. I left behind my friends, my family, problems, and really big situations. The blow of hearing things from home is softened when your 1330 miles away. But, in a way, I wish some of the things I did, had never happened. I'm excited to start out fresh, but it's scary. There are so many things that could go wrong.
It's odd, because all my life, I've had someone telling me what to do. Mainly, how to live my life, and then scold/yell at me whenever I do something wrong. Sure, they're upset at my mistakes, but they were my mistakes to make. I feel bad, when my wrong deeds affect other people. When they hurt other people. But, after something has happened, it's happene, and there's nothing I can do to change it. The best thing you can do, is deal with is and move on. I'm hoping, that with this new life, I can start fresh, and I can make sure not to make the same mistakes again.

This is my costume for Erin's "That 70s Party" 

This is another picture of the same outfit 

Erin and I were playing dress up, and I am wearing her "Marie Antoinette" costume :) 

5 days...

Well, I've been here 5 days now, and I think I'm starting to get abit homesick. I don't like not knowing very many people. I'm so used to be able to go see my friends whenever. But, now I have to make new friends, and it's not as easy as it was, when I was in school, because I was meeting new people all the time. I mean, I am working right now, but I've only been working two days. I just wish I could meet some more people, and not just be sitting around all the time. I have explored the city, but there's not many places you can go, unless it's a club of some sort, that you can meet people. The only problem is, is that I have nobody to go with me, because I don't really want to go by myself. That does put me in a dilemma. So, I guess, in the mean time, I will go flip on the cable and watch Funny Girl, for the 10th time :).

Finally here...

Well, I finally made it. It was the longest road trip I have ever taken (by myself). By the time I got here, I was exhausted. Three days of drive on average, 9 hrs a day, can really get to you :). But, I'm here now, and it's time to start my life. I start work on Friday, and I'm a little nervous. But, I'm just glad that I have a job already. I can't wait to start meeting people. It's kinda odd, not having anyone I can just go see, beings that I just moved here yesterday, and I have yet to really meet anyone. I just want to send a 'hello' ou t to all my friends back home. I miss you all terribly, some more than others, and I promise I'll be back, in a year or two, or three...whatever :). It's so very warm here. Wyoming was very warm. I saw a sign when I got into Colorado. The sign was painted ona rock, and it said, "Wyoming. Colorado's big fat ugly twin sister". I thought it was pretty funny. I'd have to say that Fort Collins was, by far, the warmest. Erin bought a tennis racket today, so I'm going to teach her how to play tennis (I'm not all that good, so we'll see how that goes). All in all, it wasn't too bad of a trip. I had a few noisy neighbors, at the hotel, and gas mileage wasn't too bad. In fact, it was awesome, compared to the $2.55 I pay at home. On average, I'd say that the gas prices here, are about $2.20. I'll try to keep this thing updated, I've been pretty lax on it lately. I love you all. Later :).

Life...

Well, I have about a week, until my 19th Birthday. I was hanging out with my brother today, and I realized, that only six years ago I was like him. So many things will change for him in the next 5 or 6 years. I look at my life, and I look at the people I've met, the things I've done, the places I've been, all in the last couple of years. There were so many new things that I hadn't tried or done yet, and I did them. Here I am, facing a completly life-changing event. I am moving out on my own. Finally. Now, everything I do affects me more-so than it used to. Things are getting serious--no--things are serious. It's just a little scary, when the smallest events could change your life. This move to Denver is going to be phenomonal (sp?). It's a brand new experience, and challenge that I am ready to take on. Only time will tell which direction my life will take.

My Updates...

So, things are moving along just a bit more smoothly...not much, but a bit. It's a little stressful, because there are so many things I need to get done in the next week. I've moved three or four rimes in my life, but never by myself. I still have yet to pack, but I do have all of the boxes I need. I can't remember if i mentioned it before, but I gave my work my two weeks notice, my last official day is April 13th. I will hopefully be out of here by the 15th or 16th. My birthday is April 14th, and my friend Keith is going to let me have my going away/birthday party at his place. Hopefully, if I just survive this next week or so, the freedom that I'm going to feel once I'm out there will be priceless.