Finally....a car...

Ok....so, big surprise.....the geo didn't work out....it's a bit of an irritating story, so I won't get into it. However, I did happen to buy a different car. It's a 1990 Nissan Pulsar. The picture on the left isn't my actual car, but that's what it looks like, only white. The other picture isn't my car either....but that's pretty much what it looks like. It has a new motor, a new transmission, new tires, and new brakes. And, I'm only buying it for 500$....AND....I get to do payments. This whole thing is just perfect. I don't think I could find a better car for 500$. Luckily, I know the person I bought it from, so everything works out even better. I finally have transportation...which means I can work more, which means I can make more money, which means I can finally get my own place. I tell you one thing, it will be so nice when I finally have my own space again. Now, don't get me wrong, I love living with Gwen. Her family has been so great to me, and I love hanging out with Gwen all the time, but a person does need their own space.....a place where I can be comfortable to let my dog run free....a place where I can put up my pictures, and paintings, and my bed. Oh well, all in due time...

Yay - Part 2....

Oh, and this is my new cell phone too.... :)

Ok, so here's the deal...

WEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! I'm finally getting a car....it's a 1990 geo prism, red, automatic, perfect running condition, awesome interior, mechanically sound, a little wing thing on the back...and it's all mine for, only 400$!! Here's a picture of it.....although imagine it red, with a little swoopy wing thing on the back... Isn't she awesome!? And she's all mine...MINE!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

...........*clears throat*.....sorry, i got a little carried away for a second....but anyway.....I'm getting it on Monday, and I finally can quit asking for rides places...it's going to be awesome.

I'm so happy my life is finally coming together....I have a cell phone, I'm getting a car....oh, and I may have found someone to get the pictures off of my memory card for me( don't ask...it's a long story). Oh, and I'm finally getting paid, so I'll have money again. Oh, but on the down side, I'm getting glasses on Tuesday...I have to start wearing glasses again. On the up side, they look really cute on me :).

Yay!

I finally got a cell phone! It's all pretty and flip phoney :). I just gotta make sure i don't go over on my minutes. I put in all my numbers tonight, and i have 104...that's ridiculous...it's my own fault for moving so much, I met alot of interesting people all over the place :)...good times....good times....

Definition of Happiness...

Can anyone define happiness? In all seriousness, what is it? How do you view it? So many times have I gone looking for happiness in the wrong places. Money, sex, relationships, people, pets....but really, where have any of those things gotten me? I try so hard to find that one thing that will help me get through life without heart ache, without utter dissapointment. Do you want to know what I honestly think....I honestly think that there isn't that one thing. I mean, have you ever met someone who wasn't having some sort of problem or other going on? It kinda brings you to that question that always gets asked....What is the meaning of life? Everyone has their own answer. For some, it's religion, for others, it's to make other happy...but me...me...I wonder if there really is a meaning. I have gone through alot of things these past few months, and I have done nothing but gane more problems, and hurt. And where has it all gotten me? I'll tell you...it's gotten me standing in an empty parking lot hoping to see someone I know...someone that will help me to forget my problems....to give me a temporary bandaid. In a way, I think that maybe, sadly enough, that the internet is my escape. Here, I can plug in my headphones, tune out anything else in the room, and sink into the world of mega bytes, web pages, and myspace. Anyone who reads this...you may be the kind of person that will tell me, it's ok, and that I'll get through everything I'm going through.....but get through to what. I'm never going to get through it all. More problems will just keep showing up everyday. It's a vicious circle, one which no one can get out of. So, what is the solution....honestly....I don't think there is one. It almost makes me wonder if we're all pawns in this thing we call life.

Man....what a day, what a day....

Ok....so today has definetly been not the best of days...in fact it's been a pretty shitty day. To start it out, I woke up this morning and started "you know what"....then I missed my doctors appointment. I had two appointments today...a doctors appt at 8:30 am, and then an eye doctor appt at 10:10....well, I got them mixed up, and needless to say, I was very frustrated. So, mom and I decided that we would go back, pick up my nephew, and go to my eye appt. But, then Mary called, and we were informed that Matt(her boyfriend) left with the car seat in his truck, and he didn't have his cell phone with him, and we didn't know where he worked either....oddly enough Mary didn't either. So, mom and I's next idea was to drive down in the vicinity of where we thought he worked so that we could maybe find the truck and get the car seat out....i had a spare key, so it would've been fine...only after driving around for about 45 min we couldn't find it. So, then, my dad called and suggested that we just go buy one. Mom and I went to Target first....too expensive.....then Bi-Mart....no the right size....finally we get to Walmart (keep in mind, it is now 9:30 and it's a 20 min drive from there to the eye doctor) and we find the right kind, right price, everything...then my sister calls us ( and also keep in mind that her and mom had been arguing all that morning....mom was just frustrated...and she had every right to be) and tells us nevermind and to just forget it, she wouldn't go to her class.

So, then mom and I have to rush out to the eye doctor...we made right on time, of course I came running into the doctors office, hair sticking out everywhere, and completely frazzled. The doctor called me into the office....she ran a few tests, and as it turns out, I have astigmatism, and I can't wear contacts any more, because I'm allergic to them. Mom and I went to pick out frames, and when we finally got everything together, the price was more than we thought it would be. We got them anyway. We drove back to Mary's house...a bit more drama happened...then I babysat Mathew all day....only to find out when Matt got home, that he didn't get my cell phone today like he said he would...so now I have to wait until Thursday. And, just now..as I was just finishing up that sentence, my batteries died on my discman ( I was listening to piano music, to help calm me down). Oh, and I had a bunch of drama happen with an ex-boyfriend today too. God!!! What are you trying to teach me??!!!!!

To sum up 2006...

So, it's been a couple of days since my last blog. As for my last entry...things are better. I mean it's 2006 now....I'm going to try to leave 2005 behind me. It was the most insane year I've ever had. To start it out...I'm going to college, which in itself is a scary thing. Then I met Brian, who little did I know at the time, would be a big insane chapter in my life. He and I dated for about three months or so. I went to Colorado for spring break, had an awesome time there with Erin and Tim, and their friends. It was while I was in Colorado, that Erin and I decided that it would be good for me to move out there, you know...spread my wings...learn a few life lessons....and believe me....there were more than a few. I got back from Spring Break, and had my birthday (I turned 19), and actually it was on my brithday that my parents found out about Brian and I, which normally wouldn't be a bad thing, but Brian had a catch....he was a client on my dad's caseload...smooth move on my part (note the sarcasm). That night, with my dad's help, we packed up my truck and the next morning I left at 5:30 am, and was on my way to Colorado.

So, here I am, on my way to a brand new start. Very optimistic by the way. This could drag on forever if I wrote every experience that I had there....so I'll sum it up....Moved in with my sister...I got a job at Starbucks....moved to a new house.....got a job at a deli....quit my job at starbucks....got a job as a bartender....quit my job at the deli....got in a car accident...moved to a new apartment....kicked out my first roommate....got a new roomate.....decided to move home...moved out of my apartment.....quit my job bartending....and moved back home. Now, keep in mind that I also dated alot of guys while I was out there....made a whole lot of mistakes....oh and I went to my first stadium baseball game. There were alot of firsts there.

It really just kind of surprises me that after being gone for 6 months, the only thing I gained, was alot of life lessons, some debt, and a dog, and I ended up right back where I started, only I'm not living with my parents anymore...I mean I'm still working at Burgerville. But, hopefully, in a couple of months or so I will be moving down to Albany....going to school...and I'll live much closer to my boyfriend :).